Dissapointed.Crushed.Broken
Notice how corny Malay songs have these cheesy lyrics like " aku putus cinta, hati aku sakit macam dibelah dua" and the sorts? i thought it was just an exaggeration . It truly isnt.
i felt that way exactly this 11.17 in the morning. just scratch that " putus cinta" part and turn it into "putus harapan" and the " hati dibelah dua" transformed into " hati dicincang halus and then diblender jadi paste"
Painstakingly, my dad had booked an appointment with Dr Faridah Mahfuz, the Executive of something-something from Petronas to discuss about my appeal into getting a Petronas oveseas scholarship.
It went well and by the way, it was rejected.She said its already full, sorry ,please try jpa and mara.
Although the young lady was very nice and polite, i cant help feeling being let-down, and as the title suggests, dissappointed.
a large part of me was not crushed bcoz i couldnt get it,
i just thought it was supposed to be pay back time.paying back my parents, paying back my teachers efforts, ….especially my ayah.
theres too much money, time, hope and expectations being invested on me up to the point it scares me out.
thank -God ,My ever philosophical dad gave me the most comforting words,,
" if u ever not getting anything that u really wanted , God has its own reasons.I can give u two of them, 1, there’s something better waiting for you 2. to avoid you from misfortunes"
she even asked me " knape nak sgt petronas nih?" .well miss, by any chance, if ure given a golden oppetunity to nail it, would you ever let go?
this is what i’m doing. I’m not letting go.
so , to let them all down just like that was a tremendous blow. And a HUGE one.
that is when i cried.
January 10th, 2006 at 11:55 pm
relax gurl….u know what..its not only u whom suffers from this disaster…theres more than 1000 of people ur age whos hope was rejected…including myself la..well just get a grip and snap out of it…im sure ull get better offer in da future…
remember to keep praying… kalo tak dapat tu mayb bkn rezeki…or allah akan gantikan ngan yang lebih baek…k just have faith in u
January 11th, 2006 at 5:14 am
thanks..tgh cuba nk redha r nh..
January 11th, 2006 at 9:09 am
oh nani….i dont know what to say. but all i want u to do is just never stop praying. insyaallah if there’s ur luck, u might go somewhere.maybe in some better places.and in some better course.perhaps medic. well, who knows allah might want ur brain to be used in study tough subject. n who knows ur life is better in the future if u receive schlrshp from jpa or mara? im sure, straight after actual results came out, dozens of letters u will receive. n time tu la kita rasa, sian plak aku kat pakcik posmen nih. hehe. watever it is, life must go on. n dont just be sad because of 1 failure. its still not the end of life.u shud work harder n owez trust god.some1 brilliant like u will not have the sad ending la. just wait for the time 2 come k! REMEMBER! DONT SAD. ADA HIKMAH !!!
January 12th, 2006 at 6:12 am
hmmm… wot should i say… of course dont be sad, it’s just no luck i guess. or i heard somewhere tt peeps said u actually showing some kind of refusal during the interview? i’ve no idea but slightly x interest in the offer, resulted in you not being offered a place by the powers that be.
dont be too long in sadness, just think about loads of others who are not even getting the opportunity to be offered for interview in the first place. and dont worry like sal said, after spm, you’ll feel for the postman. everybody feel sad bcoz of rejection, any kind at all, the least of the case is not replying sms for eg, almost everyone will feel sad or down a while. but u’l get over it, when you get another offer from any other institution, u’l forgotten about the 1st reject already. when i failed my 1st interview for lab assistant in school form 4, i was so down, i was rejected by not only the video lab but also by the english lab, i think reason being i din have ‘good personality’ wh fairly translated as ‘not pretty’. i was down for a while but tt din stop me from going there.
well, nani, dont dwell on your sadness, your not that melodramatic kinda person, i’m sure this blog just a way to express yourself, leave it at tt, life have so much to offer. utilize that.
January 12th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
sape la minasenus nh.. minah sinus ke? refusal? the only thing i refuse is going to utp..
hoho thanks anyway, whoever u are..
January 13th, 2006 at 3:57 am
hy nani, been a very long time..but this really interest me up..ok, here’s my saying..i have a fren yg dpt scholarship petronas for medic, fast track. he’s from smap kajang n really pandai n outstanding..the way he speaks..foiyoo..even won the 1st runner-up utk elocution national..kire mmg gle gmpk hebat la..n he’s been doin foundation 4 3 months kat KDU..n kuar result spm, dia dpt b or a2 for his arab..can’t remember,,tp yg len, result dia mmg gmpk r..n fyi, dgn kereknyer petronas trk blk s’ship tu..dia kt bdk 4 medic kne yg str8 a1 saje..dhle dia x smpt nk apply 4 jpa n mara sbb dh study kt kdu..cm dh comfm dpt,kn? n petronas kt, dia bole still go overseas tp kne amek engine r..n dia xnk sbb dia mmg nk medic, so dia pun msk mtrx..sbb dia xde choice len nk amek medic,jpa n mara x apply..sian dia.mmg cm kje bodo tolk offer engine kt overseas tu.tp nk dpt ape yg kite nk,kne de pengorbanan. n he’s not givin up. rzki de kt mn2..doesn’t mean klu kite dpt apa yg kite nk, kite akn dpt bnd tu slmnyer. anytime akn ditarik blk. the thing is,kne byk bsbr, doa, smoge de peluang len.. sme ni kn takdir, myb de yg lbey baik 4u..all the best..miss u n all x-bahagia 7..korg mmg best!hahaha,best ke??;p
January 13th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
hoho kak kd! its been a while ..what ? 3 years ke ape.. org tgh sedih br nk hantar berita..
anyway..thanks! its look likee this topic really does caught people interests..btw..slalo2 lah drop by ye?
January 14th, 2006 at 8:55 am
go nani!!! im right behind u!!
January 28th, 2006 at 8:36 am
yes!!!!neva stop trying!!!!hoho…