inferiority complex thy suffer…

Very,very peculiar,this trek isn’t it?
Just when one thought they have summitted to the peak,even one stumble upon a root would effortlessly result in tumbling down the hill like a bouncing rubber ball.
We’ve all been through this.
Like catching a fish with bare hands.Careful as one are in treading the water,the fish slipped away at the very moment they clasp their hands.
The fish is laughing, one must knew. The fish achieved its goal.
Carefully ,extremely carefully calculating its moment to escape when the predator was at his most superior confidence state.
The predator of course go HAHA!GOTCHA!.

Only at the initial stage.

All intent and purposes focussed in adding the intensity of frustration of the predator .Bloody fish.
Where did the fish go,? the predator wondered, staring unbelievably at his bare hands.

Ok. what a metaphoric crap.This was a pathetic attempt to whine about my miserables’ in the most subtle means possible.As you can see, the urge to lash out on how hopeless and worthless i felt for thyself is being ingeniously constrained as much as possible. How badly i didnt want to associate myself with myself, is beyond verbal description.You just have no idea.

Mayday. Someone save me. Looming over my thoughts are serious doubts about the credibility of what they say " Hardwork is the key to success".( now i’m whining properly ). Go on and prepare,prepare,prepare untill you get sick of it.When things still fall apart, ur already paper-thin confidence become shattered into pieces in front of your very eyes.

Perhaps its the mounting workload, ( short story,interview,english seminar,math teaching project, math quiz, all squeezing with one another in one week)
Perhaps i didnt get to see my parents for two weeks now.
Perhaps my handphone broke  which explains my continous restlessness.

It would have been perfectly fine and dandy if i was left alone to lick my wounds. As everything time such a thing happened,it has been always been that way.

If he didnt go to all the trouble in making me look good when I,on the contra,immersed in self -loathing beyond breaking point, i will just close my eyes and count so that the day will end.

When sorrow involved another individual,a new visitor came marching in.Guilt is the name.To me,dissapointing anyone,is a complete no-no.Go browse the archive (January 2006).I believe people will find it a  a worthy testament.

Clap! Clap! Clap!,congratulations farah hanani,you just broke your self-imposed taboo.

This is when i ran to the toilet and close the door  tight.

I am very tired.

P/s : To whom it may b concerned,deep,deep,deep apologies.

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